


One for One

by LegolasLovely



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kili's wild temper makes an appearance, Kissing in the Rain, Love Confessions, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21561961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegolasLovely/pseuds/LegolasLovely
Summary: (Y/N), Fili, and Kili grew close during the quest to reclaim Erebor. When Fili breaks (Y/N)’s heart, she leaves Erebor for good. After eleven years, Kili decides to finally find her and tell her of his feelings for her.
Relationships: Kíli (Tolkien)/Reader, Kíli (Tolkien)/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	One for One

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, this is the closest to total angst I could ever get. I may do a second part of this idk yet. But I was trying to figure out a way not to have total requited, returned love without breaking my own heart and this came about haha. I promise it’s not too bad and it ends in fluff. I hope you guys enjoy.

Kili stared out the window of his chambers watching the rain droplets slide down the glass, never really looking past them out to valley below the mountain. The little round globes landed with a force that made a pecking sound, sped down the glass, then slowed, then met like a fork in the road merges together, and fell out of sight past the window pane. He’d been awake for hours, but wouldn’t move from this spot for anything. He was trying to decide if terrible weather made this day more or less bearable.

Every year on this day, he woke with an incredible weight sitting on his shoulders and he carried it around with him until he rose the next day. Most left him alone, as if they marked the day in their minds without knowing why. For the past eleven years, he’d sit and let his chest close in on itself and allow himself to wallow until the day ended and he waited for the next anniversary to come. But not this year.

He stood, drew out his cloaks from the wardrobe in the corner and pulled them on, tying them tight in order to avoid the rain. He loaded a pack with everything he’d need. It all reminded him of the quest to reclaim Erebor. That was twelve years ago, but it felt like the time had passed with a blink of an eye.

He ignored his brother when he entered his chambers.

“Brother, I know this is a tough day, but why don’t you come dine with us, hm?” Fili asked.

Kili paid him no mind as he continued to pack his bag. He tied the cinches tight and threw it on his back.

“What are you doing?” Fili asked.

Kili finally looked at him. “I’m going to find her.”

Fili’s shoulders fell as he closed the door behind him. “Kili, we go through this every year. You can’t drag her back here against her will. She left for a reason-”

“She left because of you. Are you really going to stop me from bringing her back too?”

Fili sighed. “Do you know where she is?”

Kili pulled a map from inside his robes and laid it out on the table. “She’s here,” he said, pointing to a small village on the map.

“That’s probably three days journey,” Fili said. When Kili’s expression didn’t change, he said, “Wait until tomorrow and I’ll come with you.”

“No,” Kili said, rolling the map and replacing it in his pocket.

“Then, bring someone else with you. You can’t go alone.”

“I will go alone.” He sighed and softened at his older brother’s concern. “There are inns along the way. I know exactly where she is. I’ll be back in a week’s time.”

Though Fili didn’t like it, he knew his mind was made up. He placed a heavy hand on Kili’s shoulder. “Take care. Send word if you need anything.”

Kili nodded and returned his brother’s hug after a moment. Their forehead’s touched and Kili stalked out the door with (Y/N) on his mind. He would drag her back if it came to it. He needed her.

The weather didn’t lighten during Kili’s days of travel. He and Fili had both underestimated the journey. It took four days for him to reach the small village, but luckily, he was able to stay in warm, tidy inns during the cold nights. He dreamed of his goal day and night as he trekked on.

When he reached the village, it didn’t take him long to find the pub he heard she’d been working at. He rolled his eyes. She’d saved the lives of every one of the company on the quest, she should be living in luxury instead of laboring away in a tiny, dying town on the edge of nowhere.

He stood outside the doorway of the pub, feeling his heart pound throughout his limbs as he shook the rain from his cloak. The hood fell down over his eyes as he stepped into the barely open tavern. He was the only customer this early in the afternoon. He stomped his feet and heard the door hit the bell that hung over the top of it as it closed. 

“Sit anywhere you’d like and I’ll be right over,” he heard.

He looked at her, watching the rain drops fall from his soaking hood. Her back was turned to him as she hustled around, giving the tables a last wipe down and shoving the lopsided chairs into place with her hip. She looked the same. The last eleven years hadn’t touched her.

“You’re hard to find,” he said. “Took a few years, but I finally tracked you down.”

She dropped her rag and spun to him. His lips twitched as he slid the hood off his head and he watched her face glow with a bright smile. She ran to him and he caught her with open arms.

“Kili!”

She felt the same. He breathed her in, hiding his face in her thick hair. She smelled the same. It hit him like a punch in the gut- he’d missed her so much. “Hi, (Y/N).”

She drew away from him, hands set on his shoulders while his were holding her waist as if she’d vanish into thin air if he let go of her. “You’re soaking wet,” she said. “Come over here by the fire and warm up.” She pulled his cloak from his shoulders and hung it up in front of the flames, pulling a chair over and practically pushing him into it. But he stood again and took her in his arms once more, making her laugh. “What are you doing way out here?”

“Finding you.”

She scoffed. “You could have waited for the weather to turn. You’ll catch a chill and blame me. How’d you find me, anyway?”

“It wasn’t easy.”

“Prince Kili!” They both turned to see the bartender walk out of the kitchen with flying hands and a fake smile. “The prince has visited us again! Aren’t we lucky? (Y/N), go clean the back, I’ll take care of our special guest. What can I get you, Prince Kili?”

Kili tried not to roll his eyes. “You can give (Y/N) the rest of the day off.”

The bartender’s nose wrinkled as he set his hands firm on his hips. “She’s my best waitress, Prince. The rain will bring in customers today, we’ll be busy.”

“More money for you, then. It’s rather urgent business. She’ll need to come with me.”

“Whatever the prince wants,” the bartender grumbled. He waved his hand, granting his gracious permission for (Y/N) to leave for the day.

Kili led her out of the stinking pub with a hand on her back and his cloak over her head. He brought her to the inn where he’d spent the previous night and they argued the entire way. Why was he babying her? She can handle a bit of rain. He should take his cloak back or he’ll catch a chill. She doesn’t catch chills, she hasn’t since she was a child. Why take the chance now? He chuckled at her. Her talent of persuasion had only grown stronger in the eleven years they’d spent apart. 

They won a small table in front of a tall stone fireplace at the inn. After shaking the rain off and ordering some hot drinks, they sat before the crackling flames, letting the silence linger before she again asked him why he’d made the journey to the small town.

“Do you know how long it’s been since you left Erebor?” he asked.

Her brows lifted and he knew the question wasn’t one she had been expecting. “Mm, ten years now, I think?”

“Eleven years and three days since you made your little escape.”

She chuckled but it was dry. “My ‘escape?’ That’s an interesting word for it.”

“That’s what I’d call it.” He leaned down until he caught her eye that had been glued to her hands. “You left without telling anyone and you weren’t going to say goodbye.”

“I said goodbye-”

“Because I caught you at the foot of the mountain,” he said.

All traces of light had vanished from her features. He wasn’t used to seeing her like this. But she swallowed her emotion and gave him a small smile. “Well, you found me. And I’ve missed you, Kili. It’s really nice to see you again.” She set a hand over his. “How are you? Have you stopped causing trouble?”

“Never.” He listened to her laugh, and felt her glow infect him.

“And princesses are lining up to sweep you off your feet, I’m sure,” she said.

His smile fell, but he continued the joke. “They come from every corner of the land.”

She shook her head, lifting her skirts to cross her legs underneath them. She leaned closer to him. “And is Erebor all you dreamed it would be?”

He took her hand and rolled his thumb over her knuckles. “Just about.”

She hummed. “Is it everything Thorin dreamed?”

“Oh, yes. Everything has long since been rebuilt to his high standards.” He watched her face carefully. “And Fili is prepared to take over. He has a family now.”

Her expression was frozen in what he knew to be fake joy. “That’s wonderful. I’m so glad you’re all happy and prospering.” She fidgeted in her seat.

“(Y/N). I want you to come back with me.”

“Back? To Erebor?” She almost laughed at him. “I don’t belong there.”

He pulled her hand into his lap. “It’s exactly where you belong. Our people are your people. You won the mountain back for them. You shouldn’t be here in this village alone.”

“I like it here, Kili. I live a simple, quiet life and I enjoy it.”

He scooted his chair closer to her. “I am asking you- I’m begging you to come back with me. I need you there. I can’t live without you.”

She chuckled like he was a child. “You’ve lived without me for eleven years, Kili.”

“And I refuse to do it anymore.”

“Then, we’ll write,” she said, placing a hand on his arm. “We’ll keep in touch this time, but I’m not going back.”

“Please, (Y/N).”

“No.”

“(Y/N), I love you. I have always loved you and I always will.” He watched her unmoving expression as she stared at him. Her stunned fingers fell from his grasp and she jumped in her seat when a server dropped a mug and it crashed on the floor. “You need to say something now,” He said, feeling his stomach flip and smack the air out of his lungs. It sounded like a forced chuckle.

“You- you always have?”

“From the start of the quest, I knew.”

“How didn’t _I_ know?”

His hands returned to his own lap and his soft, round eyes hardened. “You were always watching Fili.”

Deep, untouched pain resurfaced and flashed through her features. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Oh, (Y/N).” He reached for her again, unable to win the fight between his love for her and his hatred for her leaving him. “You were so in love with him. I couldn’t steal your chance for happiness with Fili when it still lived. Then I had to watch your heart break when he married the princess and I couldn’t bear to cause you more pain and confusion.” He lifted her chin to make her look at him. “I let you leave and it was the worst decision I ever made. I need you back now.”

“Kili…” Her voice broke and she looked to the fire, holding her palm over her eyes.

He knelt before her, resting his hands on her knees and taking her skirt into his fists. “I will do anything I can to make you happy, (Y/N).”

She spun to him, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “I don’t doubt it one bit. You know I adore you, Kili, but I can’t go back to Erebor.” Her voice fell. “It just-it hurts, Ki.”

“You still love him. Don’t you? _Do you?_ ” He was yelling now, kicking the chair where he once sat into the next table.

“Kili, stop-”

“Tell me the truth! Is he your One?”

“No-I don’t know.”

Kili wiped his face, getting a look at the patrons staring at him. He grabbed his cloak from the knob over the fireplace. “I shouldn’t have come,” he mumbled, striding out of the inn. He ignored her calling his name until she landed before him, not allowing him to move away.

“Kili, please.”

“Get out of the rain, (Y/N).”

“Will you come inside?” she asked.

“No.”

“Then I won’t get out of the rain.”

The heavy droplets were gathering on her hair and eyelashes, but he knew the streaks on her cheeks were from her own tears instead of the rain. His shoulders dropped. “Do you still love him?”

“Kili, it’s been a long time. I haven’t seen either of you in years, this is all a big surprise.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Because I don’t have an answer right now!”

He pushed her aside and walked further down the path. She chased him, pulling at whatever her hands could grasp- his cloak, his pack, his arms and hands. Again, she landed in front of him with her hands on his chest.

“I won’t let you leave like this.”

“You don’t have a choice,” he growled.

She pushed him but he barely moved. “How many years did it take for you to find me, hm? How many gold coins have you spent paying travelers and traders for information? How many days did it take you to get here?”

“Too many!” He yelled at her with a force that scratched in his throat.

“And you’re going to leave angry and empty handed? You’re giving up?”

He turned on her with a feral snarl. “You’re the one who gave up! You’re the one who left!”

“I know that.”

He grabbed her arms. “Did you even think of me once in these eleven years?”

“Of course I did. Every day.”

He kissed her and she kissed him back. He didn’t know if it was out of pity or desperation or real longing, but he didn’t exactly care. She was finally in his arms again, he was finally kissing her after so many years of dreaming. He didn’t feel the rain on his face or hear the thunder crack just over the hill. There was only her warmth, her lips, and her hands.

He let her go, but just barely. His forehead rested against hers and her beautiful eyes were so close, they blurred in his vision.

“I need time, Kili.”

“All right. I’m not going anywhere.”

She nodded, breathlessly. “We’ll write. And we’ll meet in Esgaroth whenever we can, hm?”

“I don’t want you traveling that far alone,” he said.

She chuckled. “You’re forgetting how I saved your hide when we were traveling to Erebor the first time. I can journey two days by myself.”

He lifted a hand to run his thumb over her cheek. “Do you think you could ever be mine? Or will your heart always beat for him?”

She heard the scorn in his voice. “Kili, I won’t come between the two of you. I refuse.”

“I know.” He kissed her again, this time with tender hands and soft lips. “I promised you time and I will give it to you.” He drew away, holding her face in his rough fingers. “But know that I do love you and that you’re not alone even when you feel like you are. You’re welcome in your true home when you’re ready.”

She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, turning her head to kiss his palm. “You’ve always been good to me, Ki.” She pulled him back to the inn. “Come inside and tell me about Erebor, will you?”

“If we’re allowed inside,” he chuckled.

“Because of your outburst?”

He pulled on her arm playfully. “Because we’re soaking wet and dripping.”

She laughed and he reveled in the sound. “The Prince of Erebor can do whatever he wants. Isn’t that what you used to say?”


End file.
